The Professional Development of being a Dungeon Master

My thoughts after my first session back in January? “This is freaking awesome.”

Okay, I’ve given it a little more time and I’m ready to use words better than “freaking awesome.” I went into today terrified. That isn’t too strong of a word, either. I felt like I had a reputation of sorts to uphold- being super into DND is kind of a big part of my identity, even having never played. I felt like I had a lot to prove, and there is so much to DND that I just don’t know about. I mean, you’ve seen how many rules there are. I’m not gonna have that all memorized.

Embracing “Awkward”

But it went smoother than I would have expected. Sure, there were things I didn’t know and I had to look up. And sure, my players inevitably did not do what they were “supposed” to. That’s the charm, though, isn’t it? The best laid plans of Dungeon Masters will instantly just be shattered, and that’s okay.

My biggest fear about the process of DMing, more than having to look up rules every 10 seconds, was the improv part of the role. I am, in a word, awkward. In two words, SUPER awkward. I have hated that long enough to where I can now embrace this awkwardness as a part of me. Additionally, starting anti anxiety medication over a year ago helped that a lot. Regardless, I am still awkward. I did not know how I would react to creating new NPCs on the fly, or changing things around, without making it obvious that I was doing so.

A Learning Opportunity

6 months in (WOW!), I’ve grown more confident in my improv and DM abilities. I pride myself on being able to (and being forced to by my players) adapt on the fly. “Here’s a spooky zombie horse for you to fight or track!” I say. “Let’s use some rope to lasso it,” they reply. It’s perfect.

Now, in my career I don’t find myself having to talk off the top of my head about zombies. But there are many other times where I have to think on my feet, and switch gears at the drop of a hat. Being a Dungeon Master has, without a doubt, made me better at it. The other beautiful thing though is that it also taught me that it’s okay to say “I don’t have an answer to this,” or “I’m not sure what to say,” and take a beat to think of what comes next.